Not sure what my point is in writing this, but it's been a while since I've been on here. Haven't been shooting in quite a while. I'll explain...
I had a friend who I went shooting with fairly often. He had a range set up on the farm he grew up on. Sometimes we'd get together and plink with our carry pistols. Others we'd get out our precision rifles and see how tight we could get our groups. He is someone I met through work, and I had only know him a few years. We weren't close friends, but we'd call each other from time to time and bounce ideas off each other.
Last Mother's Day, he went to a party with some "friends" of his younger brother, and by appearances, decided to experiment with hard drugs of some kind. No one knows the details (that they are admitting anyway), but the night ended in the younger brother's murder and my friend's suicide. It makes no sense. I mean, I've known others that have committed suicide (a few former shipmates), and it's always tragic. This one just stung. Maybe it's because I've had to watch their mother losing her mind, and how it's torn apart other people I know. Maybe it's because this guy had so much potential. He was a good deal younger than me (about 15 years), so he was someone that I had tried to mentor in a way. A really good kid who would drop everything and give the shirt off his back to help someone that needed it. Hadn't yet gotten the opportunity to do something with his life.
The last time we went shooting was about two weeks before his passing. I haven't been shooting since. I can't figure why, but this has really put a damper on something that has been a lifelong passion. Has anyone else been through similar? This whole thing has left me with more questions than answers.
Sorry to hear this, brother. I can only imagine what anyone effected by the young man's suicide is going through, as no one close to me has ever died by their own hand. The best I can say is that at some point, I think you getting out and doing what you used to enjoy will be good for you. Take your mind off of your and his mother's troubles. Have you visited with his mother and spoken of how much you liked her son? It may help her just a tiny bit, and as they say, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." Hope this helps a tiny bit. If not, remember how I darned near peed myself when you told me how you got the nickname. God bless you, you're a good guy!
Thanks Geoff. I've been to see his mother a few times. She was actually the book keeper at the repair shop I work at (part time now). I agree I just need to get back on the horse. Compared to the family, I don't have much to mope about. Even feel guilty talking about it. Like what right do I have to complain?
E. It didn't sound like complaining to me. Just a human being who was effected by something he had no control over, but also very concerned about the well being of the young man's mother. There are times when we need to vent and/or reach out to get another's perspective on what's going on in our lives. Take care of yourself, bro, and get on that horse. It needs to be ridden! :-)
Sorry for your loss Copperhead. None of what you wrote seemed like complaining to me either. On the contrary, it is good to see people sharing life's struggles. I believe it is the only way to effectively process them, especially the tough ones like these. I have experienced loss through suicide a couple of times so I can empathize with you. Nothing like what the mother of these young men must be going through though. One thing I have learned is that recovery from events like this are never straight forward. Nor is it the same for any two people. So take care of yourself and accept whatever you feel. That horse will be waiting for you when you are ready.